SUMMER AND SUNSHINE PLEASE :)

GOAL: Getting my little butt into shape this winter. Just because it is snowing and freezing outside does not give me any excuse to hibernate in the house eating all sorts of junk food. Cali is so lucky that they have no time to get fat because it is always semi warm there with the SUN!!! Introducing my SKINNY MINNY YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI CHALLENGE. When summer hits, and potentially for my birthday I would like to be prepared to strut out on the beach looking fierce :)

I also feel it is about time that I also find out how to become a spin instructor, go to get my esthiology license, start my modeling career, getting a fantastic calling in the church, join a soup kitchen to serve, get a second job... who knows what else, the sky is the limit- as BIGGY says.

I forgot that the only person who is going to take care of me is me. I forgot that I am living in a world where the majority of  people place themselves first before others. I am my number one fan, and worth every dream that is placed in my heart. There are great times where you need to place others needs before your own. However, there are times when you can place too much attention on other and lose yourself. That has happened, there is no beating around the bush on that one. Even when on the surface I feel like I have been so consumed in myself. There is no one more important than myself at this point in my life... I need to find myself before this... what ever this is...

This will come off a little bit negative...

Can't lie, I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed. I think I need to set up some new rules for myself. I know that I have been so consumed in myself lately, but yet I feel like I haven't spent anytime on myself at all. I need more uplifting activities that can help me grow for the better. I also need to stop obsessing about the things that I wish I had but can't at this time. And the things that aren't fair... Since I keep running into obstacles that are frustrating or delaying my dreams, well instead of crying, I just need to fit my dreams to my resources and focus on the things I do have. No I probably wont have the wedding that I have always dreamed of, but my Dad probably couldn't have afforded the Saint Patrick Cathedral in New York anyways, or Vera Wang personally making my wedding dress. And so what if I wont be able to get the photographer I wanted, doesn't mean I wont find someone who will take pictures that will be just as good for less money. And my dress could be hand-me-down, I could have only 3 flowers in my bouquet stolen from my neighbors beautiful garden, no centerpieces, my reception could be in a gazebo with park benches and the food could be "bring your own potluck item," with Polaroid disposable cameras ... and I am sure the list could go on and on. Honestly, those material things are nice, but the only person's face I keep seeing with all this planning is James. Deep down I want amazing things, but I am coming to realize the reason I want those things is for him. I want him to have the best wedding HE could ever have imagined. I want him to stand in the most beautiful chapel/beach/park/terrace when I walk down the aisle in an outfit that makes him feel better than James Dean, with his amazing smile and tears in his eyes, and then hand-in-hand meet all my friends and family in the nicest reception with a color scheme and delicious dessert items. I want him to look back at our wedding and only have the fondest memories. There are a million details I know he doesn't care about, and maybe wont even notice when the day comes, but he only deserves the best. I want to give him that. Guess I am just stuck on the when and how...

Alright, so I need to start reading and finishing the books I start to read. I need to stop eating junk and keep up with the work out routines even with out the gym membership. I need less noise of the world and more meditation. I need service. I need a savings account. I need to start preparing for being a wife and a mother like I was in Utah. I need to start really listening and following the Prophet. I need to be nicer at and after work, treating everyone the way they would like to be treated.I need to be a better friend and listener. I need to work on my testimony again, and keep working on it. I need to begin to love myself again.

Happy New Year :)))))

 For New Years Eve I went to Mac's with my mom, Deanna, and her mom. It was a lovely dinner and great company. It was fun to look back and see how much I have grown up and where I am today from where I have been in the past.

(top: dee and me, bottom: my mom and me)

It is a new year!!!! This means I have to start my new year resolutions. I have been placing a lot of thought into what would me making its way onto my new years list. I have came to the conclusion that it will be an onward progression... I will just have to keep adding to the list because change is a life long journey to perfection. 

THE LIST: 

1. Give up sugar

2. Make working out a daily habit

3. Pray and read scriptures 

4. Do more service

5. Be genuine and lovely to EVERYONE

6. Have a good day every day

7. Show more gratitude, even for the trials

8. Read more (join a book club)

9. Learn how to cook more dishes 

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!

Yes it's true. It has finally happened. I have finally found someone WAY better than that Prince Charming the story books were always going on and on about. He is way better than the man I could have dreamed up for myself and I have never been happier.

You are probably asking yourself how it happened. Well... I am so head over heals in love with this man that honestly all I want is eternity with him. In that case it was only natural for me that for Christmas I asked James for a ring. It was Christmas Eve day and I was getting ready in the bathroom for all the adventures we had planned. James came strolling in looking more dashing than ever just smiling at me his oh so charming smile. He asked me, "Am I ever going to get any alone time from you?" Being the blonde at heart that I am didn't quite understand this question. I ushered him inside the bathroom and closed the door. Smiling at my big accomplishment I said, "Of course. See we can have alone time right now." He must have understood my confusion and restated the question, "No, am I ever going to get alone time FROM you?" Now me being the sensitive one that I am was a little hurt that he wanted to be away from me, especially since we are doing the long distance relationship and don't get to be together that often. I opened the door and said, "Yes, of course, you can have alone time right now." Guessing by the tone of my voice I can only assume that he understood my misunderstanding of what he was trying to say and could hear the hurt in my voice. He then assured me that he really didn't want alone time from me and closed the door behind him again Taking me into his arms he explained that he had planned a couple ways to do this, but wasn't going to be able to do it like he had planned. He began to go on about how happy I make him and how much he loves me. Then taking my left hand he slipped on the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

 (the ring :) )

He told me that this ring was for the woman who made him the happiest man he had ever been and once he found her he was never going to let her go. Honestly I was in such shock. I just looked at my ring in a complete daze that he was actually asking me to marry him. Then he asked, "Will you spend time and all eternity with me?" I quickly whipped around and said "YES!!!" giving him a large hug and then went back to looking at my gorgeous ring. What happened next is just one of the many reasons I love this man. "Oh gosh that was terrible. I can't believe I just asked you to marry me in a bathroom... Augh!" Ha ha ha. Knowing that he would beat himself up about it all day I slipped off the ring giving it back to him and explained that he could ask me all day to marry him if he wanted, but that his proposal was PERFECT. He is just perfect.

We had a date set out for May and then James was told that he could attend Ranger school. That was something that he has been looking forward to and dreaming about doing so we were only to happy to have him accept and push back our wedding date. We will keep everyone posted though of when the big day of the beginning of our new adventure will be. We just couldn't be happier.

Deck the Halls with Bells and Holly

 This Christmas I had the opportunity to go to Utah and spend it with James and his family. It was a wonderful time meeting them and being with James again. We were able to go ice skating, see a movie, go out to dinner, and even attend a Jazz game. Really I felt so lucky, blessed, and a little spoiled at how well I was taken care of and wonderful it was to be welcomed into the family with open arms.

 

While I was in Utah I was able to plan and Olive Garden night to see all of my college besties. I have missed them sooooooo much. It was great to catch up and how it really seemed like no time had passed with them. We had wanted to go to see the Temple Square lights, however, it seems that they don't keep them lit all night and we missed closing time by an hour. Luckily we were able to find a few lights to take some cute pictures at. I love these girls with all my heart.

When I arrived back to Michigan it was nice to have Deanna home from Central and spend some time with her. We were able to drive around and reminisce about old times.When I am with these girls it seems like high school was just the other day and not three years ago. We have been through so much together and it is wonderful that we have kept in touch and as close as ever.

Christmas was such a wonderful season this year. I was so lucky to spend time with my family and friends and also my new family and new fiance. I felt like I was able to really remember and think about the Saviors birth. I am so grateful for the wonderful light that was brought into the world for me. He really was such a wonderful example of love and peace. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving us your Only Begotten Son to teach us the lessons that he did so that we can live our lives in his example so that one day I can live with you again. I love Christmas.

Thanksgiving

My best friend was able to come home for Thanksgiving. It was so nice to see her and get to make some more hilarious memories. We were able to have a night just us girls and go to Bubble Island like old times. For Thanksgiving day I headed up with my siblings to my Dad's house and spent the day eating delicious food and spending quality time with Omi's family and mine. I love how Thanksgiving brings everyone together and you are aloud to eat whatever you want, no calorie counting. Bless the Holidays :)